Meri Kirihimete, e te whānau, ā, ngā mihi o te tau hou Pākehā! I hope that you are all having an above average Christmas and holiday period in the lead up to the (Pākehā) New Year. Amidst the festivities, I have had the urge to post about *something*, whatever that may be, as there is a lot of change afoot and it best be documented and processed for at the very least, my own sake.
In no particular order, my best attempt at answering a very broad and very wholesome writing prompt…
My Friends
Friendships have never really come naturally to me. While my childhood was not entirely lonely, it has taken a lifetime to cultivate and hone relationship building skills with my peers, and to connect on more than a superficial level with them. I think that makes the friendships I have accrued over my young adult life all the more special. I’m not really in contact with any of my primary school friends, and only a handful of my secondary school friends on any regular basis, but I appreciate these relationships for what they were, and how they helped me on my way to where I am now. Since moving down to Christchurch, I made friends through university circles, which has given way to some of the strongest and closest friendships of my life. The collective neurodivergence has meant an ease and depth of understanding of each others quirks, well as a plethora of shared hobbies, humour and ridiculousness. I deeply appreciate how safe I feel with these people, how authentic I can be, and how vulnerable.
Having recently celebrated my birthday, it was a perfect excuse to bring them all together and spend some quality time together. Particularly as my partner and I are now on the countdown until we move back up to Wellington – an adventure that is both exciting and daunting at the same time. New city, new people, new jobs, and a whole lot of different. Change is particularly hard for autistics, and though we’ll be buffered by being close to my family and local to hers, it will be very hard to say goodbye to friendships I have spent building my entire young adult life.
That said, planes exist, as does FaceTime. We’ll be okay team. It’s not goodbye, just see you later.
My Parents
Of course my mum and dad deserve a mention! I am proud to be their daughter, and I owe them my existence. Moreover, being their first-born, they wouldn’t be Mum and Dad without me, right? The more I get to know them as people, the more I realise how cool they are, and how very lucky I am. No parent is perfect, and of course no child is either, but I wound up with parents who love and support me unconditionally, who both have excellent senses of humour, are intelligent, have integrity, and are a lot of fun to be around. They enrich my life in different ways and have taught me resilience, patience, shown me love and encouraged my talents and passions. I know I can call on them when things go pear-shaped, and I know they just want me to be happy. I have inherited some splendid genes from them, as well as developed many of their mannerisms, habits, wordsmithery, creativity and insights.
It will be a fantastic to be able to see them more in the New Year, and to share more life experiences with them.
My Partner
Beloved by my friends and family alike, my partner has unequivocally changed my life and brought me so much joy, fun and equilibrium. She has helped me to understand myself and my needs more, embrace and affirm my neurodivergence, and she challenges me intellectually and emotionally everyday. Her impact on me has not gone unnoticed by others, who say I am calmer, more authentic and contented since being with her.
She has supported me tremendously through some distressing times, to say the least. There’s no one I’d rather bake for, cry on, or make laugh with my wordplay and silly jokes.
My Sisters
Two relationships that are ageing like fine wine! It’s exquisite to be big sister to some incredible young women, and to share the same childhood memories, family jokes and sense of humour. My sisters have made a hugely positive impact in my life – they are thoughtful, goofy, clever and it is hugely rewarding to get to know them as young adults, all of us having had the space to build and further craft our lives and identities outside the family nest.
Extended Fam
My wider whānau are an eccentric bunch, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Many a’ family games nights, zumba dance sessions, and wonderfully chaotic Christmases have only strengthened our bond. They say you can’t choose your family, but if I could have, it would have been these weirdos. So, win-win, really.
Past Teachers
At school, I loved learning. Not much has changed. While I had many great teachers, there are two that stick out as being hugely impactful. I mention them in an earlier post, long before I had even started training to be a teacher, but the impacts of their teaching on me are still felt today. They both nurtured talents and passions they saw in me at very vulnerable and pivotal times in my life. Year 8 me was isolated, depressed and endlessly curious. Class time with that teacher was my happy place. Whether we were learning about the Fibonacci sequence, defining what “art” is, exploring poetic rhyming structures or playing three-ball soccer, I threw myself into those things because I knew what I had to give would be affirmed and celebrated.
My high school music teacher identified my musical talent and cradled my fragile confidence through choir, musical theatre and solo performances. He brought a quirky sense of humour to the classroom, was a musical prodigy with a pianistic flair like none other, and he brought music theory alive – oozing with passion, making even the most dull content riveting somehow.
Being gay himself, he was a positive presence in my young closeted life long before I was consciously aware of my own sexuality. Years later, having deconstructed my faith and uncovering my lesbian identity, he became an eventual confidant and mentor in the weeks before I finished year 13.
My Students
These rangatahi are the very reason I teach. I am so privileged to have been a part of their learning journeys for however long, have learned so much from them, and I can’t wait to meet my new cohort at my first primary school teaching position next year. I may never have my own babies, but I strive to be for them what so many of my teachers were for me: safe, present, and affirming.
Those who know, do. Those that understand, teach. – Aristotle
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