For at least a few years after leaving the faith, I grieved god. I didn't anthropomorphise it in this way at the time, but that was essentially what it felt like. Loss. The experience was heightened as I was both geographically and spiritually isolated for much of the pivotal first months of post-Christian life. Geographically, because I began my gap year overseas not long after leaving the faith. Spiritually, because my family were themselves secular and did not relate to the significance of the relationship I had just severed myself from. I say 'relationship' because that is precisely what it was, as bizarre as that may seem to the non-religious person. When you talk to someone daily, spend one on one time together...
So I'm now saving my discussion of teenhood with Jesus and leading kids to Christ for part three, just because it makes more linear sense - and there is a colossal amount to unpack. Philosophising at Twelve I begin with an excerpt from my 2016 blog post, The Beauty of Religion. "The unraveling of my… Continue reading Hillsong Music, Twelvie Me and Decolonising God (Part Two)
Kids Camps Attending kids camps as a youngster was easily the most significant factor in my conversion to Christianity. I went to my first one in January 2007, about a month after I turned nine. As you can imagine, I was at an extremely impressionable age. Kids' minds are like sponges, and for the most… Continue reading On Kids Camps, Worship Bands and Life with Jesus (Part One)
Purity culture within religion is problematic. Reflecting on my time as a Christian, this is one of the fundamental parts of it that still makes me angry, and its ghost still lingers. Today, I consider myself empowered, liberated and sex positive - yet I know I'm still affected by what I was taught by the… Continue reading Confronting Sexual Purity Culture
Unlike most Christians (and ex-Christians), I grew up in a secular household. I now thank Ranginui, Māori god of the sky, that this was the case. In my opinion, what drew me to the Christian faith in the first place (for eight years) was my innate need for spiritual exploration, influence via Christian extended family members,… Continue reading Addressing My Internalised Homophobia
I don't know where I want to go with this post, but that's ultimately how most of my blog updates go, so we're doing good. I went on a Philosophy field trip last weekend and it was an absolute whale of a time. I met heaps of wonderfully weird humans akin to myself, had phantastic… Continue reading Philosophy, Sexuality, and Christian Me
This is probably the most public I've ever been about my loss of faith; I suppose you can't get any more public than the internet. While my first post on this blog, God is Good?, has a grumpy, cynical tone towards religion, that is not an accurate depiction of how I view the subject at all. Fairly well-known… Continue reading The Beauty of Religion
While travelling overseas during the last few months, I got a message from my housemate. They asked how I was, which was nice. They themself had just returned from a holiday to France. While chatting they happened to bring up the recent Nice massacre tragedy: originally they had planned to spend Bastille Day in Nice.… Continue reading God is Good?